Having been born and raised in the United States, I haven't been exposed to different cultures. When I consider the human condition, I do so with a western orientation. Individuality is counted among my virtues, and I believe in a number of human rights. I would never agree with any ideology, that forces conformation at the cost of identity.
Personal freedom means a great deal to me, but I'm aware that others don't share my opinion. Some would do almost anything, in order to be looked upon favorably. It's more than just our choice of cars and mobile phones; we dress, act and choose jobs in fear of judgement. Apparently a major concern with a possible spouse, is how we will look beside them in public. The nature of the relationship, whether good or ill, may well be secondary.
I think the important thing is to make a decision. Should you live for yourself, or live to please others? You might mean to do both, or one instead of the other, but the choice is yours and it has to be one that works. Social acceptance has a lot of benefits, but it also has a number of consequences.
Classic Movie Trailers - Mulan (1998)
They say the life of a child is care free. If that's true, it's because they don't see the pressure. From the time babies are born to their lives as young adults, they are groomed and taught and punished, to do only what is expected. Everything, from their style of dress to a lifestyle is discussed, and among all the options, they are presented with what we deem appropriate.
It starts very early. Their rooms are painted blue or pink, and clothing is assigned by gender. If their hair is cut short, they're allowed to play sports, and the rest are left with dolls and tea sets. You call it childhood, I call it training, and available roles are firmly defined.
Many of us settle into our jobs with ease. Questions are never raised and answers are never given. If the process works, the parents are proud and boastful. If it doesn't, they live their lives in fear.
What happens when people aren't suited for their roles? What happens when they find their souls were shaped in a different mold? They'll make people uncomfortable, at the very least; at most they will discover a righteous condemnation. I worry that in those situations, too many parents think about "how things look"; their first and only concern should be the child.
We look back on high school and laugh about how popularity governed all we did. I would argue that if we use that measure, high school extends a lot farther than you think. If life is positive and you are happy with the results, I still have to wonder if I'll ever truly know you. Facades are laid on so thick it's hard to see through them, and it's fair to question happiness in chains. Those bonds are never as secure as when we lock them ourselves, nevertheless they will always be restraints.
Is it worth it? That's a question that bears frequent repeating. I imagine the answer will change from time to time. With experience and self-awareness, you can make an informed decision that suits you today. I believe there's no wrong answer to that query, but I know for a fact, that there's a wrong answer for you.
Before I conclude I must ask for forgiveness, from my eastern neighbors that will assume my arrogance. Please know that I base belief on evidence, and I place less importance on tradition. Customs are useful guidelines, only when they are not. If a system aids some of us, it is flawed for the rest.
I testify before all that dare to read, and I brave ridicule to challenge convention. If honor is meant to bring respect to a house, then the concept of honor is ill-defined. Such regard is held by the unworthy, and many are outcast despite their worth. An honorable person has integrity, and their critics are often rooted in bias.
Trailer Here.
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See "Mulan" on Netflix!
Next week: "Hercules"
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