They found Saddam in a hole. I'm not talking about a run down shack somewhere, I mean a hole in the ground. That's a pretty hard fall for the undisputed ruler of an entire nation. I'm sure he had an impressive palace back in his day, but he was caught burying his head like an ostrich.
The way I heard it said, Bin Laden had dozens of hideouts. He would live in one for a couple of months and then go someplace new. There were sympathizers aiding him but just like Hussein, he was hunted down and killed. It took many years to weed him out, but the day did come and it never had to.
There are plenty of wanted men around. A lot of them are turned in, but some disappear for good. The trick is, you can't act like you're trying to escape. You can't dig a ditch deep enough to evade the human hounds. What you need to do is leave your secret tunnel base, and move to the biggest city you can find.
Classic Movie Trailers - The Usual Suspects (1995)
If you can't tell by now, I love making comic book references. This week, I'm going right back to Superman. Actually, Clark Kent is more interesting to note, and when I was a kid I thought he was a joke.
You mean to tell me that all you need is glasses, and you can fool people with that disguise? He parted his hair a different way, changed his clothes and voice, and acted like the idiot everyone else had to be. If no one saw Superman up close, he might get away with that, but only if he avoided photographs. It's a pretty big maybe and highly doubtful, but he fooled Lois Lane and the entire Daily Planet.
Look at Robin's sorry excuse for a mask. It's not very far from a pair of glasses. The great mystery that Batman should solve, is how no one spotted Grayson on his very first week. Maybe Sherlock Holmes could tell us if people are that gullible, but right here right now, my answer is: almost.
Eyewitness accounts are a little spurious. They're not always bad intentionally, but people do see things. How many times have you heard talk about "spitting images"? How many times have you recognized a face you've never seen?
There are billions of people on the globe and not enough features to distinguish them all. You also have to realize that people aren't paying attention. If you changed your hairstyle and walked into work, you'd see how out of it your coworkers are. If it's a small place you may not see a change, but in a big office prepare to answer some questions.
You ever heard the words, "all you people look alike"? Yes it can be offensive, but it's obviously not true. The real reason why people can't tell the differences, is because they're not looking for them. If you don't know Samuel L. Jackson from Laurence Fishburne, stop sending texts during a movie and watch it.
If we couple the look-alikes, with the daydreaming, unobservant and self-absorbed populace, you'll see that anyone can hide forever. It takes a little more than a cheap mask, or just a pair of glasses, but it doesn't take much. Sometimes a hair change is enough, but a simple nose job could throw everyone off.
Move to another country and change your name. If you learn to speak the language there, you get to be someone else. Some will say you look like "so and so", but none of them will see that it's you. All you have to say is, "I get that all the time." If they make you nervous about it, pull the race card.
I'm telling you, it isn't rocket science. If you want to hide yourself, do it in plain sight. You could be in bed with a wanted criminal now. If they don't tell you there's no way to know.
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@ChannelSeals
See "The Usual Suspects" on Netflix!
Next week: An essay inspired by "Clerks".
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