CMT - Half Baked

I've never smoked weed. I get funny looks whenever I say that, but it's true. Pot was definitely around when I was in high school, but so was the war on drugs. Remember, we're talking about the nineteen nineties here, and "Just say no" was everywhere you looked.

I new it was corny. All of it was, from Smokey the Bear to McGruff the crime dog. Whenever I tore through an X-Men comic, it would stop mid-fight with "Tobacco is Wacko". I hated those ads and I saw them every week, but even I'll admit that they worked.

Now I'm in my thirties and I hardly drink beer. I'm still not used to cigarette smoke. The only time I ever see a bag of heroin, is when I'm watching a movie on TV. I don't do drugs and I never have, but if you count caffeine I'm a hopeless junkie; guess I got lucky.


Classic Movie Trailers - Half Baked (1998)


I'm the supervisor at my job. Most of the time, it's more trouble than it's worth. Generally, people hate authority figures, but they hate the rules even more. I'm the guy that has to examine our policies, and make hard choices about what to fight for; regardless of what goes and what stays behind, I only hear complaints about the remaining requirements.

There are reasons behind every restriction. Most of our laws are designed to protect us. You have to keep people from injuring themselves, and neighbors want a neighborhood without theft and violence. So with all those good intentions laid before us, how do we interpret the legality of alcohol?

The last time I checked, kidney failure wasn't good for you. The liquor store owner keeps a sawed-off shotgun. Underage drinking leads to untimely deaths, and beer ends marriages well before the papers. Every year, drunk drivers cause thousands of fatalities, and that's just in the United States.

So where are the rules mandated by the state? Where's government intervention when you need it? What about the crushing vice of nicotine addiction? We can coat our lungs with tar and no one seems to mind.

The absence of regulation has reasons as well. Do you know how much they're making, taxing these drugs? To be fair, there was a thing called prohibition, but joining them made more money than beating them. Another problem reared it's head when alcohol was banned; they ultimately found that demand skyrocketed. The only thing more attractive than an attractive thing, is something enticing that you're not allowed to have.

I see the appeal. It just feels good to give the finger to “the man”. We're individuals at the end of the day, and we should be free to make mistakes. Laws should come in when a single error, is the end of life as you know it.

One hit of crack, or a dalliance with cocaine, is an incident that can change you forever. There's a pill called “Molly” that's popular at parties; a single dose of that can alter your brain, and it could be permanent. If we're talking marijuana it's a similar mistake, but only because it leaves you with a record.

Let's face it; the “gateway drug” thing is a sham, and it's the dumbest phrase to ever come from the government. If the worst thing you can say about a drug, is that it leads to other drugs, you don't have much of a case. When's the last time a doctor gave you bourbon? They don't hand out cigars, but they do prescribe weed.

There are good reasons for every good restriction, and very good reasons when they're not there. Pot was a scapegoat for Nixon-era politics, and yet another way for “the man” to keep power. I go along, not because I think it's right, but because it just isn't worth the consequences. There are plenty of legal ways to mellow out, and if I want to kill myself, I can do that legally too.

Trailer Here.

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@ChannelSeals

See “Half Baked” on Amazon Video 

Next Week: “Trainspotting”, now on Netflix!

CMT - Major League

If you’re a fan of a sport and a major sports team, those things make you happy enough to keep you coming back. That doesn’t mean you enjoy every game, and you might sit through years of poor performances. Still, you’re very passionate about them, and you keep hoping that they will improve. Everything has ups and downs, but when it’s good it’s great and it’s hard to beat that feeling.

What I'm talking about is associating happiness, with something that you're not associated with. It could be a ball club or any kind of franchise, but you're standing outside of it, cheering from the stands. If you examine that particular position, it's emotional involvement with no promise of return. Besides that promising situation, people incorporate fandom with their very identities.


Classic Movie Trailers – Major League (1989)


Information is noise. It's taken a long time for me to understand that, and the fact that everyone chooses some sort of filter. In my case, college instilled an unwavering trust, in science, math and history. When I want to reconcile conflicting information, I depend on scientists, economists and historians.

This is why education is so important; it introduces disciplines that we can investigate. If you're evidence based like I tend to be, you take comfort in ideas that hold up to scrutiny. For many others, science is too cold to satisfy them; numbers are solid and history is plain, but they don't give us purpose or meaning. So religion continues to be a relevant filter, and for some of us, it's the only one works.

The bottom line is, you have to choose a method to interpret life. Without one, you're doomed to stress and bewilderment. Before you decide, I should mention our most common choice. Facts and theology are secondary, to the all important filter that is the community.

Let's say you follow the Cleveland Indians. You live in Ohio, you go to the games and you memorize statistics. All the knowledge you gain about the league, is given context and interpreted for you by the rest of the fan base. If the rule book looks vague, confusing or contradictory, the leaders of the community tell you what to believe.

It's a comforting and reassuring way to live. They give emotional support and reasons to hate the “bad calls” from the ref. Eventually, you'll come to depend on the community, and you'll define yourself by saying what they stand for. At that point it's crucial to remember, that your group is influenced by an organization.

Ideally it's a relationship that's mutually beneficial; you give them money while they act in your best interests. Unfortunately, fans are often led astray, when the base relies on messaging from the organization. The community starts to filter noise from just one source, and that source proves to be unreliable. Eventually you'll find that your support, is going to an entity that's not supporting you.

The Indians benefit the city of Cleveland. A lot of people live off of stadium revenue. Besides the moral boost that a major team provides, there's added tourism, which is good for the economy. The only thing that spoils that situation, is an organization that wants more money.

It's hard to see what's behind the scenes, and it's hard to admit the breadth of the corruption. They own the newspaper and the pamphlet that you're reading. They own the sportscasters on your television set. There are a lot of company names that they've been using, but don't forget that it's one organization.

As I write these words in the United States, there's a small revolt happening in this country. Every major team has been misleading their base; the people know about it and they're starting to get suspicious. More of us are turning to unbiased internet, and every GM is answering for the money they're taking.

It's a good idea to reconsider your position, especially if you're a life-long fan. If you use a base to identify yourself, consider leaving and becoming an individual. If you must have a community filter, you can root for the Yankees while living in Ohio.

The important thing is you have been deceived, so you shouldn't trust the messaging you're used to. We're going to have different takes on the rule book, but we should all agree on the money side of things. Take another look at economics and history; you can refer to others or decide on things yourself. If you want a better future in our lifetime, know that you're a person and not a collection of principles.

Trailer Here.

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@ChannelSeals

See “Major League” on Netflix!

Next Week: Half Baked

CMT - The Addams Family ('91)

While on this wonderful adventure that we call human life, you'll eventually run into some awkward situations. If we spoke plainly there would be less confusion, but the truth isn't practical most of the time. Who wants to waste a day with pointless confrontations? It's easier to lie and deceive in subtle, or obvious  ways.

Just know that there are problems with our passive aggressive policy.  One main concern is that it becomes habitual. Dishonesty is crime committed for convenience, and in today's world it's almost trivial. We expect hypocrisy from many people, and we make fun of the neighbors that haven't caught on.

With the trap in plain sight, we still fall into it. There's no shortage of popular, condescending pricks. For some of us it's all about the in-crowd, and everyone outside of it is simply out of luck. We tell ourselves that they'll get the message eventually, and they'll get over it soon enough.

Then the day comes when you meet some scary people, and you want all the distance you can possibly get. They're not getting the message and you don't how to be honest, so you frantically search for an exit route while they laugh behind your back. Things left unsaid are often understood, and a smart aleck can play dumb, just to watch you squirm.


Classic Movie Trailers - The Addams Family (1991)


Of all the genre combinations available, comedy and horror is the most intriguing. They seem to be naturally opposed, but they're pretty effective together. In the context of a horror story, comedy is complimentary. I'd even say that it helps to create better scares.

There's nothing like a good joke, to break from constant tension. They give you a moment to breathe and relax, before you're thrust back into the fire. Additionally, funny moments tend to be disarming. If you really want people terrified, make them laugh before you scare them.

I like to think of it as a rubber band effect. The introduction of the opposing reaction, is stronger because of what came before. I can't think of an example off the top my head, but I've never laughed so hard as when I'd just been scared to death. If a character is frightened instead, they can be very amusing, like Scooby-Doo and Shaggy.

With "The Addams Family" characters, we get all the advantages of our mixed feelings. We're allowed to laugh at them and at others, but the greatest thing they do is help us laugh at ourselves. Imagine meeting Lurch on a dark and cloudy day. Would you scream and run at the sight of him, or would you smile nervously and drift away?

We're apt to act unnaturally and hide it when we're uncomfortable. We don't want to cause a scene and we don't want to be embarrassed. The thing about it is, we're all too revealing. We can laugh about it later but we're prisoners of the moment.

They know it too. Don't be fooled by the ominous stares. They're doing it on purpose and they're loving every minute. When you're talking to your friends about how creepy these guys are, they're laughing at all of you and your obvious fears.

It's pretty interesting when you consider it. Some characters are created solely to be laughed at. With this family we do a fair amount of that, but for the most part, we're chuckling at a mirror. The fact that they're peculiar is a means to an end; their appearance isn't as important as our reaction to them.

You may not have thought of this, but true expressions are very good things. They definitely cause drama but as long as they're honest, that's okay. Sometimes, your first impression is the right one. It may cause a scene if you run and scream, but either way you survive it.



Trailer Here.


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@ChannelSeals

See "The Addams Family" on Netflix!

Next week: "Major League" followed by "Half Baked".

CMT - Galaxy Quest

Many of our jokes are partially true. That's why they're funny in the first place. I would even say that the very best comedies, are deeply revealing about human nature. All of them are, at the very least, a snapshot in time; they work in the context of a certain place, in a certain era.

When you open up a joke book fifty years later, some things will make you laugh and some will confuse you. The thing to remember is they don't lose relevance. You may not even smile at them but they're still valuable. If you can understand them, note the information. Humor is historical, in more ways than one.



Classic Movie Trailers - Galaxy Quest (1999)



I didn't laugh out loud when I watched this film again. That might be harder to do in this case, since the whole thing is a punch line. There are some situations that a Trekkie will appreciate, but the entire theme is a practical joke. They introduced a group that couldn't tell fact from fiction, so any follow up would have been great.

What's even more amusing than that wonderful idea, is the notion that the group is basically correct. If you sit down and really think about it, every fictional story is a historical document. It might not seem that way at first, but the characters and situations are not that important. What's more significant than all of those details, is the cultural norms and values they indicate.

So let's start with the values. "Galaxy Quest" is a Star Trek parody, and The Enterprise is a ship for exploration. They seek "new life and new civilizations", but their real mission is slightly more complicated. According to Wikipedia, Starfleet is a "space-borne humanitarian and peacekeeping armada". They want to save lives, eliminate conflict and show the correct way by their example.

Basically, these guys are missionaries. They want to convert all of the war faring barbarians. Consider all the Vulcans and Klingons in each roster; look at all the other races they assimilated You might even say that an end result, would be naive and pacifist aliens, like the ones in this movie.

Maybe that's too much of a long shot for you. So let's look at the credo, "Never give up. Never surrender." It represents a proud and eager commitment to heroism. There's also fear of failure and of admitting defeat; these are very human qualities, that all work together to help us "stay the course".

Plenty of Americans would like to forget those words, but they're indicative of history, just like the "Galaxy" crew. Take a look at the people on board, and then take a moment to consider their positions. The one that's in command of the ship, is the kind of person we would expect.

Sigourney could have easily been cast as the Captain, but that would have been atypical. Instead she's the love interest, with a very simple role on the vessel. In "Alien" she was strong and capable, but here she's ineffectual, shameless eye candy. Her style of clothing says more about our culture than she ever does.

Tommy represents a minority in this country, just as he does so on the ship. It's a really simple thing that many wouldn't think about, but that's because we're so used to it. Give this movie to children in South America, and they will learn a lot about their neighbors up north. The story might be make believe, but there are plenty of subtle facts underneath the surface.

In this way, fiction is a time stamp. It shows more of the state of things than you might have believed. The people we create reflect those we've met. The cultures we depict are simply mirrors of our own. We can change the plot points; that's easy to do. It's a whole lot harder to change your perspective, especially when you don't think about it.




Trailer Here.



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@ChannelSeals


See "Galaxy Quest" on Netflix!


Next week: The Addam's Family